December 17 Day 9: Centering Lived Experience

Whose Voices Get Heard?

In every conversation about sex work - whether it’s policy, research, or “rescue” - one question should guide us: who is speaking, and who is missing?

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Too often, the people most directly impacted by laws, policing, and stigma are left out of the room. Decisions are made about sex workers, not with them. Policymakers draft legislation without consultation. Journalists tell our stories through a lens of pity or scandal. Anti-trafficking organizations design interventions that criminalize the very people they claim to protect.

This pattern of exclusion is not accidental - it’s structural. It reflects a long history of silencing marginalized voices, especially those of women, queer and trans people, migrants, and people of color who do sex work. When lived experience is ignored, harm multiplies. Policies built on assumptions rather than realities end up deepening the same violence they claim to solve.

To center lived experience is not symbolic - it’s essential. It means putting decision-making power in the hands of those who know the terrain firsthand. It means valuing expertise that comes from surviving systems designed to exclude you.

Why Centering Matters

When sex workers lead, everything changes. The priorities shift - and the outcomes improve.

Instead of punishment, we see prevention. Instead of “rescue,” we see respect. When sex workers shape the agenda, solutions are grounded in care, not control. We see investments in harm reduction, not handcuffs; in housing, not raids.

Centering lived experience also transforms the narrative. It challenges the idea that sex workers are passive victims needing saving and instead shows us as experts in safety, community building, and mutual care. Our strategies - bad-date lists, peer networks, rapid response teams - were not created by academics or agencies. They were born from necessity, from years of surviving and organizing without institutional support.

Because we know what safety looks like. We know what justice requires. And we’ve been building it ourselves for decades - long before anyone started calling it “innovation.”

December 17 as a Platform

The International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers is more than a memorial - it’s a megaphone.

Every vigil, every article, every podcast episode, every panel discussion should lift up the voices of those living this reality every day. This is our day to speak for ourselves, to tell our stories on our own terms, and to be heard without translation or filtering through the lens of respectability politics.

We are not data points, case studies, or anecdotes for someone else’s grant report. We are people - with histories, expertise, and visions for change. When lived experience is centered, December 17 becomes not just a day of remembrance, but a rallying point for transformation.

Centering lived experience turns mourning into movement. It ensures that the work we do honors not just those we’ve lost, but those still surviving - still organizing, still dreaming of a world where sex workers live without fear.

Action Steps

🔴 Amplify: Share sex worker–led podcasts, blogs, research, and art. When you post or speak about sex work, quote and credit sex workers themselves.

🔴 Step Back: If you’re an ally, ask yourself - am I taking space, or making space? Use your access to shift the mic, not hold it.

🔴 Support Leadership: Fund sex worker–led organizations. Follow their lead in policy advocacy and public education. Reject “rescue” programs that criminalize or silence the people they claim to help.

🔴 Reflect & Respond: Examine where lived experience is missing from your own work, organization, or activism. Commit to changing that - not just today, but every day.

Reflection

Ending violence against sex workers begins with listening - truly listening - to those who live at the intersections of stigma, survival, and resilience. Centering lived experience means more than inviting sex workers to the table; it means recognizing that we built the table.

On December 17, as we remember those we’ve lost, we also recommit to the principle that nothing about us should ever be decided without us. Because the path to safety, dignity, and justice will never come from the top down - it will rise from lived experience, up.